The Sailor’s Score Card

I had an old photocopy of this fun test plucked from Sea Spray’s CAT ‘N’ BOARDSAILOR magazine of July, 1983.  It was submitted by D. Moore, Sydney.

1. The first thing I do when I wake up on Saturday is:
  • Fool around with my wife – 1 pt
  • Let the dog out – 2 pts
  • Check out the wind conditions – 3 pts
  • Run out and put the boat on the back of the car – 4 pts
2. My bathroom contains the following:
  • No reading material – 1 pt
  • Sunday Papers – 2 pts
  • One or two girlie magazines – 3 pts
  • My entire collection of sailing magazines – 4 pts
3. A typical conversation with my wife Is about:
  • The kids – 1 pt
  • The bankcard bills – 2 pts
  • Sailing – 3 pts
  • We don’t talk anymore – 4 pts
4. I stop at the ship chandlery on my way home:
  • Never – 1 pt
  • Sometimes – 2 pts
  • Always – 3 pts
5. I have xxxxx old or new sails:
  • 1-2 – 1 pt
  • 3-5 – 2 pts
  • I haven’t counted lately – 3 pts
6. My favorite aftershave is:
  • Brut – 1 pt
  • Blue Stratus – 2 pts
  • Old Spice – 3 pts
  • A blend of salt water and beer – 4 pts
7. Look at the bottom of your feet, do you see?
  • Dry feet – 1 pt
  • Wet feet – 2 pts
  • Sand – 3 pts
  • Windsurfer – 4 pts
8. When I argue with my wife about going sailing, I usually:
  • Give in – 1 pt
  • Threaten divorce – 2 pts
  • Take her to her mothers and go anyway – 3 pts
  • We don’t argue any more – 4 pts
9. Look at the palms of your hands, what do you see?
  • Clean hands – 1 pt
  • Small blisters from sheet ropes – 2 pts
  • Large blisters from sheet ropes – 3 pts
  • Sheet ropes – 4 pts
10. The walls of our lounge room are covered with:
  • Paint – 1 pt
  • Wallpaper – 2 pts
  • Boat pictures – 3 pts
  • New boat plans – 4 pts
11. How much do you spend on sailing a month?
  • $1-10 – 1 pt
  • $10-50 – 2 pts
  • The entire rent – 3 pts
  • I cashed in my life insurance policy – 4 pts
  • I haven’t added it up lately – 5 pts
12. In my car at a “T” Intersection, I:
  • Stop – 1 pt
  • Give way – 2 pts
  • Drive through – 3 pts
  • Yell “starboard” – 4 pts

 

Now add up your score!
  • 0 – 20: Good husband and father
  • 21 – 30: Mildly bitten by the bug
  • 31 – 40: See your family doctor
  • 40 plus: There Is no known cure for your disease

How do you score?